Monica D. Murgia

I loved the retro bikini and bathing suit movement that has come back into mode in recent years. Perfect for curvy women , or those if us that like to leave something to the imagination, the retro suits offer fuller coverage without being dowdy.

Marinlyn in the bikini style, then

Victoria Beckham looking posh in her retro bathing suit, now

Some fashion designers and mass retailer have adopted the suit bottoms as outer wear. This is a total lack of propriety. Brief bottoms as clothing offer little coverage. Marie Claire featured a splurge vs steal editorial, advising that:

Boy-short bikini bottoms with prim tops give us all an excuse to leave our ‘pants on the ground’.

Are they kidding? I wish they were…. Look at the editorial yourself

Peter Som’s ensemble is $3,019- but the average income girl can recreate this trashy look for as little as $313 – if she is buying everyhing new. But I bet an even cheaper alternative is buying some granny panties and wearing them with heels you’ve already got.

I dismissed this editorial, thinking that particular editor was an exhibitionist. Sadly, I was mistaken because W Magazine featured a pair of Dolce & Gabbana briefs as outerwear in the First Ladies editorial by Camilla Nickerson and Bruce Weber. Typically, editorials in W don’t irk me – I love their creative and artist direction. They are much more foreward thinking and avant-guard than most mainstream American fashion magazines. But this idea of underwear as outerwear bothered me.

Privacy is something that has virtually disappeared from our lives. (Did you catch my genius pun?). Facebook, Twitter , LinkedIn, YouTube – while these are incredible social platforms and methods of disimenating information, it has been increasingly difficult to keep your personal life private. Social media has created a tabloid chronicaling the lives, fashion faux pas, and scandles of the everday person.

You would think this overexposure would make every woman want to cover up. Apparently not.  I can’t help but imagine the inappropriate and unwanted senarios that are possible if American women adopt this style of dress.

So who is pioneering this brief revolution?  I suppose it all started with Wonder Woman, played by the beautiful Linda Carter.  The show ran from 1975-1979 – 4 glorious years of the boy short-clad Carter strutting it on prime time TV.

Diana’s superpowers revolved around her enchanted accessories: a magic belt giving her tremendous strength, bracelets that can stop any bullet, a tiara that can be thrown as a returning weapon and a unbreakable magic lasso that can force anyone to tell the truth.

I want a magic truth-inducing lasso.  Clearly, fashion designer’s have focused on producing the wrong trend . . .

Katie Perry wore a pair to the VMAs back in 2008, too.  She looks like she’s ready for the beach, not for accepting an award.  But she does look a lot like Wonder Woman.  It’s really too much that mega retailer H&M is pushing this to the streets.  Here is an editorial from their magazine:

Having lived in New York, I’ve seen a lot of things – but I can’t imagine this look being realistic.  First of all, she looks like a 5th Avenue call girl.  Second of all, she’s got to sit down sometime – imagine all of the germs.  (Those of us who have lived in the city know it’s not all glamor.)  Third?  There are a lot of strange people out there.   She is going to get a lot of unwanted encounters.

This style is best left for the bedroom or the pool.  Please, spare us all!